Masculine Men's Face Care and Anti-Aging Series (Part I) - How To Master That First Date
If you're heading for a first date, chances are you're a bit
nervous. Take a deep breath. Being informed and planning ahead are the
masculine man's best defenses against first date jitters.
Have a Game Plan
It's important to decide where to go and what to eat. As a masculine man (and the one who asked her out) you'll want to do the planning. You don't necessarily want to call all the shots on the date, but you do want to know her preferences. It's a good idea to ask her if she had something in mind. Be flexible, have a few options available and go over them with her in advance, so she feels like she had a say. Most women will admit that they want to be swept off their feet on a first date and that means that they want to enjoy the man's company without having to make the major decisions.
Consider any common interests and plan
an activity that you would both enjoy. You can start by reading over the
arts/culture section of your local news sites or local papers for fun
date ideas. Remember that if a location or activity is boring, the
burden falls on you to entertain her and keep the conversation going. If
neither of you are into art, chances are that ceramic exhibit at the
gallery downtown will have you both bored to tears.
Women love dates that are just a little unexpected - but not weird or out of her (or your) comfort zone. If monkeys make you nervous, don't go to the zoo, even if you know she's an animal lover. Don't go sailing if you can't swim. And avoid high risk activities like zip-lining across the Grand Canyon unless you're both into rock climbing. You want to come off as fun and exciting, but don't fake compatibility by trying to be someone you're not.
Since conversation is such a huge part of the date, stay away from a movie or concert, unless that's only 50% of the date. You want the chance to talk to her and you won't be able to talk through the movie or scream over heart pounding music!
Choosing the Perfect Restaurant: It's Not the Money, It's the Experience
Choosing
the right setting for your game is like walking a tightrope. It's a
balancing act, tipping too far in one direction can be disastrous. You
might think that you should go with something super fancy - wrong! Super
fancy will freak her out. It will seem like you are trying too hard to
impress her, have an ulterior motive, or compensating for some obvious
flaw in your personality. Skip those places with over-attentive waiters
and $$$$ plates - unless you have a very, very good reason for it. When
picking the right restaurant - it's not about the money, it's about the
experience. She's dating you, not the restaurant.
On the flip side, too casual isn't the way to go, either. You'll come across as a cheapskate. Or even worse, that you just didn't care enough about the date to make an effort. You'll also want to skip the chain restaurants by going for something with more personality. Every town has a hip and trendy place that comes alive at night without your breaking the bank. It's also a good idea to pick a restaurant that you know, so you'll feel more comfortable and in control. If you decide to try a new place, be sure to check out their reviews before you make the reservation, but don't get too adventurous by using your first visit as the chance to try a completely unknown cuisine. You don't want to discover on a first date that your stomach didn't agree with you.
Pay attention to the
ambiance - stay away from noisy restaurants or bars. If you aren't sure
about the noise level of a place, read reviews online. One of the most
common things that people mention in reviews is that the noisy level got
in the way of an intimate evening. You don't want to have to scream
over a crowd to have a conversation with your date.
You can also
look for a restaurant/bar combo, where you can have a drink and break
the ice while you are waiting for your table. Or go for a quiet dinner
and then hit another trendy nightspot for drinks. Whatever option you
choose, be sure to let her know in advance so she can dress accordingly.
You want her to look good don't you? She'll be mortified if she's
dressed to the nines and you take her to a place where corndogs are
considered a delicacy. Nothing embarrasses fashionable ladies more than
dressing for the wrong occasion.
Well, actually, there is - and that brings us to how you prep yourself for the date.
First Impressions Count: Dress to Impress
It's beyond embarrassing for your date, if she looks terrific and you look like you just rolled out of bed. Yes, we can tell when a man has put thought into his appearance. A good outfit for a first date should be clean, without damage, wrinkle-free, comfortable and properly fitted, with matching dark color socks. Invest in a full-length mirror and check yourself out head to toe. If you wearing something newly purchased, be sure to check for tags. You don't want to go on a date with your pants size stuck to your leg.
And Gentlemen - but don't forget about body odor. "Stench No.5" will have us running for the door. Take a shower and wash your hair, and if you don't have time, at least change out that sweaty shirt and underwear. If you're coming straight from work, use handy wipes in packets (even restaurant packets will do), or baby wipes to give your armpits a quick going over. Don't douse yourself in cologne - you're not a mobile perfumery. Remember to check your shoes and nails - both should be clean. The finishing touches tell the most about a person, because so many people overlook their importance.
Finally, pay attention to your face - well in advance of your first date. You should already be on a men's face care schedule, but this is especially true on the day of your date.
Your goal is for your face to look clean, fresh, and inviting. You want to tempt her to wonder what your skin feels like if she presses her cheek to yours. And if you are hoping for a goodnight kiss, a stubbly tired-looking face is bound to be a road block.
If you're a guy who never washes his face, or thinks
he can get away with splashing water on his mug, think again. Plain old
water or bar soap (don't even think about it) robs your skin of
moisture. It clogs your pores and doesn't clean away the dead skin cells
and environmental debris that the masculine man accumulates on his face
every day.
The best way for your skin to retain collagen and elasticity (key factors in retaining a youthful appearance) is to put your face on the proper maintenance schedule. The first step is to wash your mug with a high quality anti-aging cleaner that's powerful enough to get rid of the junk on his face, but mild enough so that his skin isn't stripped of moisture. Drug store cleansers and body-washes are packed with additives, lack anti-aging ingredients, and don't do much for your face, even if they're cheap.
Step two is a treatment for your mug to help combat fine lines and wrinkles. The daily shave and exposure to the elements can lead to skin damage and premature aging. You can reverse the damage with a treatment that harnesses the power of science and nature to save your masculine hide. If cleaning your face is the "workout", the treatment step like a post-workout protein shake for your face. It will help your skin bounce back and feel better than ever.
Finally, make sure that you apply a masculine face protectant to complete the regimen. The protectant seals in moisture so your skin looks clean and fresh all day long. Much like the treatment, a high quality anti-aging protectant it's essentially a force field that helps keep the bad stuff out - like skin-damaging free radicals and grime, but keep the good stuff (like moisture) in, and helps boost the collagen and elasticity of your skin. High quality protectants made with essential oils and nutrients will prevent your skin from looking dry and flaky - a definite turn off for the big first date!
Once your face is looking good, it's back to preparing for the first date.
Date Night
The first date is like a job interview, so be well rested. Take a nap if you're coming after work, or have some coffee to perk you up. Being tired can actually make you more susceptible to nervous energy. Besides, your emotional state is contagious and will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
Be a gentleman and offer to pick her up. If she refuses and would rather meet you instead, respect her privacy. Don't take it personally! Be courteous by being on time. Bring her a small gift - seasonal flowers are nice, or some fancy candy. If you pick her up, don't smoke before you get to her place. She'll think she stepped foot into a freight train instead of a romantic chariot to whisk her away.
A heartfelt compliment is a nice way to break the ice. Tell her that she looks beautiful, but keep the comments appropriate. You barely know each other! Don't talk about her legs or, ahem, specific parts of her body. She knows you're going to check her out, but do it discreetly. Don't leer or look creepy. You'd think men would know by now, but a guy I know nearly got slapped on a first date. And after he told me what he said, he deserved it!
When you get to the restaurant, either use valet parking, or remember where you parked - write it down, or ask her to help you remember. Don't think about "winging it" later, because if you are going in circles in the lot, you'll look clueless. Finally, open the door and pull out the chair for her - you're being sweet, not anti-feminist!
At the Restaurant/Conversation Starters
It's OK to suggest items on the menu, especially if you know the restaurant but she doesn't, but don't order for her. Coming off as somebody who is in control of himself is a mighty aphrodisiac, but being controlling is not.
No roaming eyes. Don't check-out the waitress or the ladies at the bar. Pay attention to your date at all times and don't answer your cell phone - keep it on silent instead. You can always check your emails and messages when your date uses the ladies room. If you pull out your mobile device at the table, not only do you risk sending the message that she's boring you, it's also inconsiderate.
One of the biggest challenges on a first date is to find common ground to talk about - fortunately, current events are a great way to get the conversation going. Brush up a bit on current affairs, movies, and the arts before your date, but this will only get you so far. Hopefully, you will venture into deeper territories.
What if she asks about your last relationship? Don't panic! It's OK to talk about your ex-girlfriend, even if it ended badly - but your date doesn't need to know. Don't be spiteful, don't linger, and don't get emotional. Acknowledge the relationship, respect the lessons learned and move on to another topic.
On that note, check your emotional baggage before you leave the house. The first date is not the night to talk about your cheating or alcoholic ex, manic depressive parents and troubled childhood. You shouldn't be bogus, but you can save these topics for later dates when it looks like you're growing closer together. First impressions count and you don't want her to identify you with negativity on your first outing.
Don't be alarmed if at some point the conversation moves a little slowly. Date conversations can be a little awkward, because you are trying to impress each other. When you talk about your work and your personal interests, come off as passionate to keep her interested. This is also a great opportunity to impress upon her that you're a good provider, but you'll want to be subtle. Let's say you love your work in the medical field. Even though she might not have any medical knowledge, she will still appreciate that you are passionate about it. Don't be cocky - confidence in a man is mighty sexy, arrogance is not.
During the course of dinner, remember to give her a chance to talk about herself and ask you questions. When it's your turn, ask questions that require answers that aren't a simple yes or no. For example, her career goals, or why she enjoys a certain genre in music. Think of the conversation in percentages. If you can manage to split the conversation 50/50, that would be ideal. If not, strive for at least 60/40, 60% about yourself - because you asked her out, so it's OK to take the lead here, and 40% about her.
Oh, and watch the alcohol. Sip the wine, don't guzzle. You should spend more time looking at it than drinking it, especially if you're driving her home.
Pay Attention to Her Body Language
Does she interact with you? Lean closer? Look into your eyes often? Laugh? Maybe she comes up with excuses to touch you - those are all great signs! She's letting you know that she's having a great time and that she's interested. If you find her staring off into the distance or fiddling with the utensils, that's bad news. And the deal breaker here is - if she's dead silent and fidgets in her seat.
Most women will go to the ladies room to freshen up at some point during the evening. However, if she leaves the table multiple times, especially if she told you that she spotted a friend in the room, goes off to visit and then takes her time, that's a pretty major sign that she's not into you.
A date is a meeting of the minds - and hearts. You shouldn't have to do all the work to keep it going and - keep her entertained. If she's not holding up her end of the date, your attention and wallet are better spent elsewhere.
If something happens unexpectedly during the date - like a spilled glass of wine or an over-cooked steak, laugh it off and don't make a fuss. If you're rude to the wait staff, or come across as irritable or petty, she's likely to end the evening quickly, in fact, she may not even sit through dessert! Likewise, if someone cuts you off while you're behind the wheel, let it go. Road rage is a major deal breaker and you will come across aggressive and wacko.
Finally, always pay for the date even if it didn't work out, be a gentleman - you asked her out. Be careful with cigarettes, alcohol and coffees during the evening, because they leave a strong aftertaste, so drink water to wash it down and pop a mint, if you're looking for a good night kiss.
Saying Goodnight and Follow-Up
If you had a great time, let her know by telling her honestly and sincerely. Thank her for her company. If you tell her you will call, you must follow-through and actually call her in a day or two. Really, it's OK to call her. Just don't go overboard and leave her a voicemail and three texts by the next morning.
Most women appreciate the thoughtfulness of a call a day or two later. She's not going to think that the first date automatically gave her girlfriend status over you. But you've got to be very clear about why you're calling. It's important not to send mixed signals, or leave things open to interpretation. Tell her that you had a great time and that you want to see her again. If she accepts, be sure to pace your contact with her until you see her again - she agreed to a second date to get to know you even better, but she didn't give you permission to call her every day until you meet again, so don't ruin a good thing while you have it.
And what about the first kiss? Generally, a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek is a nice way to end an evening that went well. It's not too forward, so long as she appears comfortable. If you didn't feel the chemistry, that's fine. Don't make any promises - and you must resist the temptation to tell her that you will call her, when your gut dreads it. You want her to remember you as a masculine man and a gentleman, not a wimpy lying dirt-bag. Simply thank her for a nice evening and say goodnight.
Now that you've gotten all the tools you need to master your first date - it's time to get out there, big shot!
Have a Game Plan
It's important to decide where to go and what to eat. As a masculine man (and the one who asked her out) you'll want to do the planning. You don't necessarily want to call all the shots on the date, but you do want to know her preferences. It's a good idea to ask her if she had something in mind. Be flexible, have a few options available and go over them with her in advance, so she feels like she had a say. Most women will admit that they want to be swept off their feet on a first date and that means that they want to enjoy the man's company without having to make the major decisions.
Women love dates that are just a little unexpected - but not weird or out of her (or your) comfort zone. If monkeys make you nervous, don't go to the zoo, even if you know she's an animal lover. Don't go sailing if you can't swim. And avoid high risk activities like zip-lining across the Grand Canyon unless you're both into rock climbing. You want to come off as fun and exciting, but don't fake compatibility by trying to be someone you're not.
Since conversation is such a huge part of the date, stay away from a movie or concert, unless that's only 50% of the date. You want the chance to talk to her and you won't be able to talk through the movie or scream over heart pounding music!
Choosing the Perfect Restaurant: It's Not the Money, It's the Experience
On the flip side, too casual isn't the way to go, either. You'll come across as a cheapskate. Or even worse, that you just didn't care enough about the date to make an effort. You'll also want to skip the chain restaurants by going for something with more personality. Every town has a hip and trendy place that comes alive at night without your breaking the bank. It's also a good idea to pick a restaurant that you know, so you'll feel more comfortable and in control. If you decide to try a new place, be sure to check out their reviews before you make the reservation, but don't get too adventurous by using your first visit as the chance to try a completely unknown cuisine. You don't want to discover on a first date that your stomach didn't agree with you.
Well, actually, there is - and that brings us to how you prep yourself for the date.
First Impressions Count: Dress to Impress
It's beyond embarrassing for your date, if she looks terrific and you look like you just rolled out of bed. Yes, we can tell when a man has put thought into his appearance. A good outfit for a first date should be clean, without damage, wrinkle-free, comfortable and properly fitted, with matching dark color socks. Invest in a full-length mirror and check yourself out head to toe. If you wearing something newly purchased, be sure to check for tags. You don't want to go on a date with your pants size stuck to your leg.
And Gentlemen - but don't forget about body odor. "Stench No.5" will have us running for the door. Take a shower and wash your hair, and if you don't have time, at least change out that sweaty shirt and underwear. If you're coming straight from work, use handy wipes in packets (even restaurant packets will do), or baby wipes to give your armpits a quick going over. Don't douse yourself in cologne - you're not a mobile perfumery. Remember to check your shoes and nails - both should be clean. The finishing touches tell the most about a person, because so many people overlook their importance.
Finally, pay attention to your face - well in advance of your first date. You should already be on a men's face care schedule, but this is especially true on the day of your date.
Your goal is for your face to look clean, fresh, and inviting. You want to tempt her to wonder what your skin feels like if she presses her cheek to yours. And if you are hoping for a goodnight kiss, a stubbly tired-looking face is bound to be a road block.
If you're a guy who never washes his face, or thinks
he can get away with splashing water on his mug, think again. Plain old
water or bar soap (don't even think about it) robs your skin of
moisture. It clogs your pores and doesn't clean away the dead skin cells
and environmental debris that the masculine man accumulates on his face
every day.The best way for your skin to retain collagen and elasticity (key factors in retaining a youthful appearance) is to put your face on the proper maintenance schedule. The first step is to wash your mug with a high quality anti-aging cleaner that's powerful enough to get rid of the junk on his face, but mild enough so that his skin isn't stripped of moisture. Drug store cleansers and body-washes are packed with additives, lack anti-aging ingredients, and don't do much for your face, even if they're cheap.
Step two is a treatment for your mug to help combat fine lines and wrinkles. The daily shave and exposure to the elements can lead to skin damage and premature aging. You can reverse the damage with a treatment that harnesses the power of science and nature to save your masculine hide. If cleaning your face is the "workout", the treatment step like a post-workout protein shake for your face. It will help your skin bounce back and feel better than ever.
Finally, make sure that you apply a masculine face protectant to complete the regimen. The protectant seals in moisture so your skin looks clean and fresh all day long. Much like the treatment, a high quality anti-aging protectant it's essentially a force field that helps keep the bad stuff out - like skin-damaging free radicals and grime, but keep the good stuff (like moisture) in, and helps boost the collagen and elasticity of your skin. High quality protectants made with essential oils and nutrients will prevent your skin from looking dry and flaky - a definite turn off for the big first date!
Once your face is looking good, it's back to preparing for the first date.
Date Night
The first date is like a job interview, so be well rested. Take a nap if you're coming after work, or have some coffee to perk you up. Being tired can actually make you more susceptible to nervous energy. Besides, your emotional state is contagious and will set the tone for the rest of the evening.
Be a gentleman and offer to pick her up. If she refuses and would rather meet you instead, respect her privacy. Don't take it personally! Be courteous by being on time. Bring her a small gift - seasonal flowers are nice, or some fancy candy. If you pick her up, don't smoke before you get to her place. She'll think she stepped foot into a freight train instead of a romantic chariot to whisk her away.
A heartfelt compliment is a nice way to break the ice. Tell her that she looks beautiful, but keep the comments appropriate. You barely know each other! Don't talk about her legs or, ahem, specific parts of her body. She knows you're going to check her out, but do it discreetly. Don't leer or look creepy. You'd think men would know by now, but a guy I know nearly got slapped on a first date. And after he told me what he said, he deserved it!
When you get to the restaurant, either use valet parking, or remember where you parked - write it down, or ask her to help you remember. Don't think about "winging it" later, because if you are going in circles in the lot, you'll look clueless. Finally, open the door and pull out the chair for her - you're being sweet, not anti-feminist!
At the Restaurant/Conversation Starters
It's OK to suggest items on the menu, especially if you know the restaurant but she doesn't, but don't order for her. Coming off as somebody who is in control of himself is a mighty aphrodisiac, but being controlling is not.
No roaming eyes. Don't check-out the waitress or the ladies at the bar. Pay attention to your date at all times and don't answer your cell phone - keep it on silent instead. You can always check your emails and messages when your date uses the ladies room. If you pull out your mobile device at the table, not only do you risk sending the message that she's boring you, it's also inconsiderate.
One of the biggest challenges on a first date is to find common ground to talk about - fortunately, current events are a great way to get the conversation going. Brush up a bit on current affairs, movies, and the arts before your date, but this will only get you so far. Hopefully, you will venture into deeper territories.
What if she asks about your last relationship? Don't panic! It's OK to talk about your ex-girlfriend, even if it ended badly - but your date doesn't need to know. Don't be spiteful, don't linger, and don't get emotional. Acknowledge the relationship, respect the lessons learned and move on to another topic.
On that note, check your emotional baggage before you leave the house. The first date is not the night to talk about your cheating or alcoholic ex, manic depressive parents and troubled childhood. You shouldn't be bogus, but you can save these topics for later dates when it looks like you're growing closer together. First impressions count and you don't want her to identify you with negativity on your first outing.
Don't be alarmed if at some point the conversation moves a little slowly. Date conversations can be a little awkward, because you are trying to impress each other. When you talk about your work and your personal interests, come off as passionate to keep her interested. This is also a great opportunity to impress upon her that you're a good provider, but you'll want to be subtle. Let's say you love your work in the medical field. Even though she might not have any medical knowledge, she will still appreciate that you are passionate about it. Don't be cocky - confidence in a man is mighty sexy, arrogance is not.
During the course of dinner, remember to give her a chance to talk about herself and ask you questions. When it's your turn, ask questions that require answers that aren't a simple yes or no. For example, her career goals, or why she enjoys a certain genre in music. Think of the conversation in percentages. If you can manage to split the conversation 50/50, that would be ideal. If not, strive for at least 60/40, 60% about yourself - because you asked her out, so it's OK to take the lead here, and 40% about her.
Oh, and watch the alcohol. Sip the wine, don't guzzle. You should spend more time looking at it than drinking it, especially if you're driving her home.
Pay Attention to Her Body Language
Does she interact with you? Lean closer? Look into your eyes often? Laugh? Maybe she comes up with excuses to touch you - those are all great signs! She's letting you know that she's having a great time and that she's interested. If you find her staring off into the distance or fiddling with the utensils, that's bad news. And the deal breaker here is - if she's dead silent and fidgets in her seat.
Most women will go to the ladies room to freshen up at some point during the evening. However, if she leaves the table multiple times, especially if she told you that she spotted a friend in the room, goes off to visit and then takes her time, that's a pretty major sign that she's not into you.
A date is a meeting of the minds - and hearts. You shouldn't have to do all the work to keep it going and - keep her entertained. If she's not holding up her end of the date, your attention and wallet are better spent elsewhere.
If something happens unexpectedly during the date - like a spilled glass of wine or an over-cooked steak, laugh it off and don't make a fuss. If you're rude to the wait staff, or come across as irritable or petty, she's likely to end the evening quickly, in fact, she may not even sit through dessert! Likewise, if someone cuts you off while you're behind the wheel, let it go. Road rage is a major deal breaker and you will come across aggressive and wacko.
Finally, always pay for the date even if it didn't work out, be a gentleman - you asked her out. Be careful with cigarettes, alcohol and coffees during the evening, because they leave a strong aftertaste, so drink water to wash it down and pop a mint, if you're looking for a good night kiss.
Saying Goodnight and Follow-Up
If you had a great time, let her know by telling her honestly and sincerely. Thank her for her company. If you tell her you will call, you must follow-through and actually call her in a day or two. Really, it's OK to call her. Just don't go overboard and leave her a voicemail and three texts by the next morning.
Most women appreciate the thoughtfulness of a call a day or two later. She's not going to think that the first date automatically gave her girlfriend status over you. But you've got to be very clear about why you're calling. It's important not to send mixed signals, or leave things open to interpretation. Tell her that you had a great time and that you want to see her again. If she accepts, be sure to pace your contact with her until you see her again - she agreed to a second date to get to know you even better, but she didn't give you permission to call her every day until you meet again, so don't ruin a good thing while you have it.
And what about the first kiss? Generally, a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek is a nice way to end an evening that went well. It's not too forward, so long as she appears comfortable. If you didn't feel the chemistry, that's fine. Don't make any promises - and you must resist the temptation to tell her that you will call her, when your gut dreads it. You want her to remember you as a masculine man and a gentleman, not a wimpy lying dirt-bag. Simply thank her for a nice evening and say goodnight.
Now that you've gotten all the tools you need to master your first date - it's time to get out there, big shot!
Candace Chen is the world's foremost authority on the marketing
of Masculine Face Care ™ (men's skincare and men's anti-aging) products,
her credentials include over 150 U.S. and international patents issued
and pending. She is also the founder of the FaceLube Marketing System
and FaceLube, the Home of Ultra Masculine Face Care for a Man's Man®.
FaceLube is Ultra High-End Masculine Men's Anti-Aging Technology with
everything he needs, nothing he doesn't.
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